A few weeks after being laid off, I sat down with a colleague Shari for lunch in Marblehead. I was looking forward to a good lunch with some good advice. Shari is a recruiter, and we happen to sit on the board of the Northeast Arc together. At the very least, it seems like all the years of working, networking, and volunteering are finally starting to pay off. At a time when I need people, I can thankfully look in my rolodex or LinkedIn and finally say, ‘I got people.’ (Gold star if you can name the commercial…)
About 15 minutes into having lunch with Shari, she asked me the most profound question of my life. “So, what is your passion? What’s the thing that makes you get out of bed in the morning?” Say what lady? It was then I realized that the smallest questions are the hardest to answer. The toasted wheat bread of my BLT had become extremely dry in my mouth, and I felt a knot begin to form in my throat. Not again! I’ve always suffered from a mild to moderate case of anxiety, and two things that make me extremely uncomfortable are: being caught off guard and not knowing the answer to a question…mostly because the two combined oftentimes make you look and sound like an IDIOT.
“Um…” was about all that rolled off of my tongue. I didn’t know what my passion was. While I know that I like to do many things, there was nothing I could say with certainty as to the reason I get out of bed in the morning. Truth be told, I get out of bed because, well, that’s what we’re supposed to do. And passion? Pssh, the most I’ve been passionate about while being a “responsible” adult is collecting a paycheck. Beyond that, I will be 100% honest and say that I had no clue what I was passionate about. Fumbling around for a “passion”, I told Shari that I’m passionate about the volunteer work I do. And I am. She quickly replied that while that was all fine and dandy, that is social work, not marketing. I wanted to cry. I didn’t know the answer, and I could quickly feel myself…and my appetite….spiraling out of control. In all of two weeks, I had taken a hit to my self esteem so fierce that it had me questioning whether I’m a good marketer, had I chosen the right career, did I made a mistake leaving previous jobs; and, on top of everything else, do I even have a PASSION?
I let Shari do most of the talking after my futile attempts at figuring out my passion in all of an hour. As she talked, I concentrated on swallowing my food and not bursting into an emotional flood of tears. While life was buzzing all around me, I felt like I was a very dark place in my life…and all before my 35th birthday. Way to kick a chick when she’s down. The score was Universe – 1, Mikki – 0. Fortunately, Shari gave me a lot of good advice that afternoon and told me to reach out to her with any questions. However, the only thing that rang loud and clear in my head was my inner voice asking one little itty bitty tiny weenie question, “What is your passion?” Hell if I know, but something tells me I need to figure it out!
Share Your Thoughts and Stay Tuned for Finding Passion – Part 2